A lot of things can happen in a marriage..

My maid of honour and god-sister is getting married in a few weeks.  I'm really excited as family weddings in my family are quite a rare event - in fact the last one was my wedding, six and half years ago and the one before that was my Aunts'.  Almost 20 years-to-the-day before.

All this wedding excitement has me reminiscing our wedding day.  The preparation, the way we had spent so much time researching, planning, spending,yes spending but mostly anticipating our 'big day'.  I would love to live it over again.  Just the day mind you - not the expense and not the preparations!

It was such a perfect day, I was calm, prepared and felt the world was on our side.  It was glorious, I felt so beautiful.  My hubby was so handsome, I felt so completely blissful.  When I think about the word 'Reflection' I think about this wedding picture, it's one of my favourites.

Wedding Photo - September 2003

Was marriage what I thought it would be?
No, not really.  But yes in many ways.  We've built a life, a family and we're building a future.  That I expected and hoped for.  Building that family was a lot easier than I thought conception wise and by our second anniversary we had a 15 month old and were 3 months away from having our twins.  2 years and 3 months - 3 kids.  Crazy.

Eloise - born June 2004

Hubby with Olivia and Laura - Dec 2005

This did put a lot of stress on our marriage, and although I never doubted my decision to marry my hubby there were times where I wondered what the hell I had gotten myself into.  Instead of feeling calm, prepared, and the world was on our side I felt anxiety, out of control and at odds with myself.  Not even myself.

Our family Jan 2009 - Eloise's first day of school

We did weather that storm, and we've managed most of the 'young years' of our kids on one income, increased financial pressures and some scary health issues. 

The future is looking rosy.  I will go back to work soon, our youngest two will head off to school - we will all, and I mean ALL of us gain some independence. 

What would I change?

Nothing and everything.  I wouldn't change our beautiful three frills.  They mean the world to us and I still look at them with amazement that we have made and raised them thusfar.  If I had to do it all again I would have waited a little longer before having them, but that said, I was ready, and my Dad gave me some wise words when we discovered we were first pregnant 'You don't plan kids, kids plan you'.  So true.

We are stronger, we are looking forward to the things ahead.  We're not in lovey-dovey love anymore but I think that's just an ebb and flow of the lifestyle.  We laugh together, we share so much, we talk about just about everything.  We are partners in life, best friends, comfort and joy.

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